What to Look For in Your Stoner Jedi Master
Our “stoner birth” occurs the first time we smoke weed. We’re completely ignorant to the ways of ganja and usually have some sort of “stoner guide” to help us on our way. Often times, it’s an older sibling or a red-eyed friend that introduces you to the fascinating world of weed.
Thus, it’s very important to choose your stoner guide correctly. You don’t want an idiot to be teaching you the ways of the weed.
Today, we’ll be looking at characteristics to look for in your Stoner Guide. Similarly, this article is also dedicated to those who will be the stoner guide to someone else, and what to do in order to make their experience more pleasurable.
Stoner Guide’s must be Experienced
When you’re new to the world of cannabis, you don’t want to have a newbie guiding you through the rites and rituals of stonerkind. You need someone who has obvious experience. This means, someone who has at the very minimal smoked for more than a year every day [in moderation]
Why is this important? Because consumption rates matter. It tells you something about their personal experience with cannabis.
Most people who start off smoking regularly, tend to go a bit overboard. It’s okay, we understand it’s a new sensation and smoking weed feels…well…fucking great!
The problem is that most seasoned stoners don’t consume marijuana in excess. They have learned their own consumption rates, they know what they need to consume to get them high and won’t be wasting weed when they know another toke won’t get them higher.
An amateur stoner still hasn’t learned his own consumption limits. It’s best to have someone who knows how to smoke, when to smoke and how much to smoke to teach you the ways of responsible consumption.
Stoner Guide’s must be knowledgeable
Another important factor to look out for when considering choosing a stoner guide is to test their knowledge. Granted, as a newbie you wouldn’t know if the guide is telling you the truth or not…due to your own ignorance.
However, you’d quickly realize if a guide is full of shit or not. Ask them general questions about weed and verify their answers online. There are plenty of resources available for you to cross-reference their answers.
If you’re stoner guide is telling tall tales, then it’s best to find someone else to guide you. An informed stoner is a powerful stoner.
Your stoner guide needs to know at least;
- The basics of the marijuana plant (what you smoke, what to do with seeds etc)
- The basics of growing marijuana (while not necessary, it’s a plus)
- General Cannabis Lingo
- They NEED to know how to roll a joint and make a bong
- They need to know how to make Cannabutter or other types of infusions
This is a good check list to follow to see the experience level of your stoner guide. This way you can be assured that your entry into the world of cannabis will be handled correctly; you’ll learn what you need to know.
A Stoner Guide Needs to Be Trustworthy
You won’t select a random stranger to be your stoner guide. It has to be someone you trust. Someone who will have your best intentions on their hearts.
I have met a couple of stoner douchebags in my day that made newbies “drink bong water” to get higher. Any seasoned stoner knows that bong water will never get you high and only tastes like ass. Sure, one could argue that these douchebags were merely playing a practical joke on the newbie, however for the newbie the experience was not pleasant.
I’m not saying that playing a joke on someone is a bad thing. Rather, if someone I didn’t know or completely trust would pull of something like that, it would give me a negative image of what stoners are like forever.
This is why, you need to always select a stoner guide that can be trusted. Someone that you have rapport with. This is essential for a newbie to feel comfortable with this new dynamic of dousing their system with good ol’ cannabinoids.
Is a Stoner Guide Necessary?
No, it’s not necessary. There are many people who embarked on their stoner journey without the assistance of a guide. However, those people had to learn through trial and error. They got skimped on weed, paid too much for low quality and the likes.
A stoner guide will provide you with the insights you need to be able to participate within the stoner community, deal with dispensaries and the likes. Starting off with something new can be scary, however if you have a trusted Stoner Guide in your corner, you’ll quickly become familiar with all things cannabis-related.